to mention the new space, freedom arrived exactly 73 days after my brother died by suicide. Really... Things were complicated...I always knew we were in treacherous territory as I spent years holding him closely through some unspeakable times. Scott was 21 months younger than me. I always planned to sit in the rocking chairs at the farmland share stories with him at least until we were in our 80's. Talk about change, and accepting or adapting to change... My brain couldn't process the loss. This strong, independent woman woke each day for several months each day thinking he was still alive. Ugh... He left me absolutely hollow inside. After those first few months of having coffee at his graveside I woke up one day realizing me and my family needed and deserved more from me.
i hope to inspire others to hold on and let go---do whatever it take to process the new circumstances and us esteem to live your lovely life. XOXO